Yo

Its been a while since I blogged eh, oh well got busy I guess.

So, for those of you who still read, here's an update on my life. Im still not doing anything with my life. Been a house-brother for a while, cooking and stuff for the sis who's busy with her Honors project. Currently still waiting for my visa. Oh yes, I enrolled in a Visual Arts and Contemporary Crafts course, yea, arts and crafts. Its only for 6 months and I cant wait for it. Giving up science is hard, I do like it and it feels like im wasting my degree but no, everyone knows education is never a waste. Put it this way, when I meet a wanker who wants to act all smart about something scientific and I tell him he's full of shit, that's when he is wrong. Also decided to apply for Interior design next Feb. That would be exciting.

On another note. I got attached. He's 40, An Art curator quite cute and really nice to me. Russell is his name and I'm super happy with him. We're just starting out but we'll see how it goes. One of my other friends got attached and I was like wth that was fast and then another friend told me that I should give my support since she's been single for a long time. As usual I didnt get it. Support? I'll give you support when you're going through cancer or something not when you're in love, why do you need support for that for? Anyway Russell's in charge of the Singapore biennale 2011, so please go!

God its been long since I blogged hasnt it? and I have loads to update you busybodies. Ive graduated, as of Dec last year, I have no idea how I did it. It wasnt that hard but what I had to deal with while studying it was hard, but in doing so showed that I could do almost anything now.

Went back to Singapore for Xmas and new years and kinda stayed abit too long, well atleast long enough to realise I still hate it. Lost one of my best friends, well kinda told him I dont want to see him or hear from him again. Found out he was still chatting/texting with my ex. Which best friend would think it was ok to chat with an ex who dumped you? Apparently this idiot. And even after this he's still trying to chat with the ex. Oh well. Guess the ex is to blamed as well for entertaining him. I also did manage to meet the ex, it was a nice day out but as usual he eventually became as asshole again, making me plan to meet him and sends me a text message saying he cant make it and doesnt give me a reason. He then gives me a reason a few days later, which was his specs broke and he had to go make a new one. Well Im obviously not over him, but you never really get over your first love do you?

Other dramas? My sister finally told my parents about her boyfriend and that ended up badly, they hate his family and they hate him. They have also come up with some ridiculous story of voodoo and shit and since im supporting my sister Im under it as well. Im sure they'll get over it soon.

Im also planning my cousins ROM ceremony, its very exciting but Im not sure how Im going to be doing it while Im in Australia. Speaking of which Im not sure how Im going to stay in this country, still havent got a job, my visa is ending soon and Im so afraid. Sometimes you've got to fail badly to rise up victorious dont you? But what if your so afraid of losing. Urgh, too confused. I just wanna leave everything and disappear for a while. Thinking of taking a long backpacking trip.

Camping trip and shit that's been going on.

Ok long overdue, shall leave most details out. Camping trip was the best thing ever, just look at my facebook pics of the outback. It was such a beautiful place and a great experience, got to dissect a kangaroo! The night sky was awesome, one could see the whole galaxy besides the freezing cold.

Love life updates? was dating 2 guys, one had to leave for London, another was crazy about me and not in love with me, which scared me off somehow, although he is the sweetest person ever, now I know why no one ever wants me, maybe i scare them off with my sweetness as well, oh well Im not gonna complain again. I need to learn to love myself first, and on that note I joined the Gym last week and have been hitting it quite hard, well this time I want results. No matter how gross it's going to be I'll put before and after pictures! took the before pic last week and it grosses even me out. HAHA.

Now Im in a struggle to decide what to do after I graduate. Why do I feel the need to rush and make a decision, Ive got my whole life ahead of me why do I feel so old when im still so young. I wish there was a book that told me what I should do next. God you still there? or have I sinned so much that you cant bear to be near me? but then again, I think Im God once in a while. Someday I'll have the magical powers too.

On another note, I think im the most talented person I know. I can sing, dance, act, talk, host, I can be funny, I draw, I paint, I decorate, I cook splendidly well, Ive got a green thumb, Im pretty much good at everything I do. Yet, I dont love myself enough and have no confidence. Someday soon it'll change, I bet on it.

I think I should seriously proof read my blog posts, spotted a heck of alot of typos in my previous post and it wasnt such a long post to begin with. And yes Im back, finally getting the mood to blog. Its just one of the things I do, you know when you procrastinate and the work piles up (like one of my report that's due at 2 pm that I should be doing now) and you dont really want to do it so you put it off until you never do it. I didnt want this to be the same, Ive been wanting to blog seriously, but just felt a little not in the mood. I know alot of read my blog, learnt that I've a new reader, my aunt apparently, welcome aboard. My sister was all did you know this aunty knows that you're gay now cause she reads your blog and apparently her friend saw you kissing some guy, and I was all crap, that means I need to update my blog now that there's one more person reading it. Anyway Ive no idea where this person saw me kissing a guy, never done that in public, heck only once in a gay bar back in Singapore, unless they're just referring to a picture of mine on facebook which isnt really a kiss, but sure looks like one. Cant be bothered anyway. Most importantly I need to update you guys on shit that's been happening the last 2 months or so.

Let's start with after the horrid exams. First went down to Adelaide to visit mom and dad for a few days, such a pretty place it was, they had like a beach area that looked exactly like surfer paradise but without the crowd. Pretty place, and I didnt stay there long enough to fight with the family but not too sure what's going to happen when they get here this weekend. After Adelaide I was off to Sydney, to visit a friend, amongst other things, ah the drama that happened there, well not surprisingly I fell in love with the guy and shit like that, but he was still in love with his loser ex bf who he went back to after I left. What is with people liking people who treat them like crap rather than nice people? Anyway there was one night I was sooooo mad, cause he had no money and I ended up paying for all of his drinks and the more drunk he got the more some other guy started touching him and stuff, it was awful, I felt awful, but anyway came back and kinda got over it, shit i deserve sooooo much better. After Sydney was my camping trip for one of my courses which I shall blog about in a while. Got to get this report done first.

I know I always whine about being single and that Im looking for a boyfriend but I just to thinking if im really actually ready for a relationship? I dont think I am, cant imagine doing things together with someone else, I cant be myself, I cant do what I want when I want to, Id have to think how it'll affect them. Its just too much commitment. Last night I was chatting with a friend and he's been having some problems with his boyfriend and I told him well, you're the one who is in love, and he asked me if Id ever been. And boy did that start me thinking. Have I? Was I really in love with the ex? Or was I more in love with getting attached then anything else. And someone told me I had to know what it felt like, you know, the getting hurt part and moving on part. TOTALLY regret it! Thanks friend! Should have just wanted for my knight in shining underwear. Starting to think Id be much happier by myself. It definitely be more fun, except for the sex part. Oh well.

Ever wish you were a baby again? I do. Not a care in the world. Eat, poop, sleep. The way life should be. Cry when you are sad, laugh when you are happy. Simple things would cheer you up. Flowers mean something, butterflies are noticed, birds amuse you. I wish I was a baby again, not a care in the world.

Im already planning my holidays, oh, with no money of course. Off to visit mum and dad from the 27th-30th of June down at Adelaide. Still in the works of planning to visiting a friend from the 2nd to the 5th of July in Sydney but might be awkward seeing how his boyfriend sees me as a threat and thinks im going to steal my friend from him. Which actually makes me feel a little flattered.But for now I might have only enough money for the plane tickets. Then there is this man who emailed me about his B&B in some countryside in Queensland and is letting me stay for FREE. Lets hope I would not have to pay up some other way and also come back not in a body bag.

Happy holidays to all those already having theirs!